Why I love living in Europe

My Dutch colleague and I went out to lunch today, Turkish pizza. I've been going to this place in the tiny town of B for years, the staff is very friendly, and their food is superb. Like many of the businesses I patronize in the tiny town of B, the staff is Turkish German, so I've picked up quite a bit of Turkish German over the years. So they put up with my poor German and doubly poor version of their Turkish phrases all rolled into one.

Maybe because it's Friday, or I'm in a good mood because I'm leaving, or because it was sunny out, but when he opens with 'Bonjour Madame' I answered him in French. For the record, my French is crap. It's so bad, I shouldn't even say 'my French is crap' but rather 'the piddling few words of French I know is crap'. My French is based on a summer semester at community college ten years ago, 6 months of cds while driving in the car 1,5 hrs/day Mon-Fri in 2002, a VHS French course here, and periodically dabbling a bit here and there with my French colleauge or through shopping trips to Belgium. However, I started French after already knowing Spanish, so I picked up a lot, easily, and where I don't know something, I throw in the Spanish version and hope for the best.

And since the Turkish fellow continued to speak it, so did I for the entire duration, all the way out the door to 'Bon Weekend'. Listening to him speak French was much more pleasant than hearing him speak German.

So while looking at the menu I'm speaking English with my Dutch colleague, who is speaking German to the Turkish German guy, who is speaking French to me.

These are the random interactions I will miss moving to the UK.

I'm thinking I may abandon all German studies and if not going after Polish next (due to the large native Polish-speaking population in the UK and my previous studies), then I need to go after a Romance language next. Either properly study French or go after Portuguese or Italian.

Plan the work, work the plan...

During the next 16 days I have the following on my to do list:

-finish employment contract negotiations, or find a new job in the UK.
-sell the last 1 big item which will not come along to the UK.
-get to the post office to mail off the final ebay items.
-finish/submit my UK grad school applications which I've been working on since late November, to make my self-imposed deadline of submission before leaving Germany.
-figure out if/how the remaining items (bicycle, book, clothing) will best fit in Mr. Polo for next Thursday's drive to the UK. Mentally I've pictured it, but I need to confirm with the measuring tape if I'm correct in my mental arrangement.
-get Mr. Polo washed before attempting to load the car (he gets very dirty parking on the street near the office, thus packing him requires him to be a little less grimy).
-de-register in Germany, and then spawn corresponding cancellation letters to various Germany service providers like my internet.
-do a final clean of the flat.
-make travel arrangements: I need to be in a business meetings in various countries the day after I drive back from the UK, and then the 2nd day after arrival in the UK.

If you're contemplating that last bullet, it means that in the roughly 10 day time span from when I drive to the UK and back, and then fly to the UK for good, I will be in five European countries (including Germany and the UK), while orchestrating a flat move on my own.
Good times.

And I need to kick this cold this week. :-(

Fighting off a cold

going to bed early.

Divine fate

Is giving me a second opportunity, a grave warning, or looking for a confirmation of a de facto decision. Unfortunately, I cannot figure out which is it yet. Seeking a third sign to provide clarity.

Listening list these days, on repeat:

• Peter Gabriel - Secret Word (Live)
• Foo Fighters - Times Like These
• The Killers - Human
• Herbert Grönemeyer - Mensch
• The Cure - Pictures of you

Back to the usual mundane posts about the logistics of moving from Germany to the UK shortly...

Cologne --> drinks on the way out, any interest?

For my last night in Germany, plans are coming together to gently end this adventure with a few drinks at my favorite bar in Cologne. Nothing too crazy, no dancing on the tables, D is in town but must leave early the next AM, and I'm flying the next day anyway, so looking to be a little low-key.


Date: Saturday, Feb 14th
Location: Koeln Deutz

• closest train: about a 12 minute walk from the Deutz Bahnhof/Messe station
• closest trams: the 7, 1, or 9 at Deutzer Freiheit, maybe a 7 or 8 min walk

Time: evening, exact time tbd. (The bar doesn't have much of a food menu, so it will be after dinner). The bar is a local place and pretty basic: Koelsch, cola, juice, wine, water; nothing fancy but one or two cocktails on the drink menu.

If you're in the Cologne area and interested to drop by and say hi/bye (whether we have previously met or not :-)) let me know, either through the comments, or my email if you already have it, or send me an email to phillygirl06 and put the opposite of @coldmail.com after that, and I'll send you a note if/when something gets better organized/finalized, along with location/time.

going to bed early

saturday already filled up with tasks, most of them fun.

one of my 'too large to bring with' items left tonight, bringing the total remaining down to 3, one of which has already been agreed for sale and pickup next week. the other two (the washer and dryer), i've been holding on to on purpose.

every time something leaves i feel a little more free. i think i will be slow to buy anything in the uk, to savor this feeling of simplicity and freedom.

back with you on sunday.

unexpected changes

1. eating healthy meals
2. going to bed early
3. exercising before work.

i have no idea of the source of such changes except:

1. i'm cooking creatively to use the things which i have, so i put more thought into my meals lately.

2. i'm mentally tired from busy days at work and busy time outside of work putting things on ebay etc. in addition, i sold my lights, so while i have some overhead lights, in general the flat is a bit darker than it was previously.

3. the new neighbor in the flat below me wakes up at 0630 each day, including Sundays. i think his early morning activities (opening the window shutters, scraping the kitchen chair on the floor), are gently intruding upon my sleep as i awaken to them.

(although D mentions that i am such a light sleeper than i can hear a gnat sneeze across the border in the next town. not true! i can hear the gnat thinking about sneezing, in the next state actually.) ;-)

and the results are in...

You may recall back in November, I was taking the B1 test from the Goethe Institut. The results finally came today, I got a 2!-->here's what a 2 means.

I usually size down photos, but I thought perhaps someone who is thinking about taking the test in the future might like to see the details Goethe returns: (Click on the photo to make it bigger)


Final thoughts:
-Am pleased to have done this. I'm glad to have a paper which formally states that I do officially have some level of correct knowledge of the language.

-In retrospect, I probably could have passed with a 3 a year ago. (Although I wanted to be 100% sure I'd pass before taking it so as to not have to re-sit for the exam at a 100 EUR cost.) Or I could have seriously studied and tried for a 1. (The 65% section was the 2 pure grammar exercises where I was expecting a 50%--I knew they would be the worst for me.) But if I had it to do over again, I'm 99.9% sure I would have done the same thing all over again. The German language just doesn't mean anything to me, beyond a line on my CV.

-I will be taking this paper to the office along with a bottle of sekt. My work colleagues will be pleased. (Especially after having to put up with me giving them a hard time in the weeks leading up to the exam, for all the Denglish and slang they use in the office.)

Cheapness in Germany

Some of my non-German colleagues joke about the cheapness of the Germans. Perhaps due to moments like when one tipped 20 cents to the waitress after a night of drinking and good service from the waitress. The Brits and Americans, of course, tipped her more upon seeing that one. Bar staff aside, I see it more as--Germans pay for the quality which they seek. Germans pay big bucks for a BMW or Mercedes, but 2,99 for a bunch of flowers seems appropriate as flowers are only good for a week anyway, so unless you're a flowers expert, the basic quality will do.

Last week, at Rewe, I bought a bag of salad which was marked 1,79. It rang up at 1,89. I, of course, demanded my 10 cents there. If I want to donate money to someone, it won't be the to the management of Rewe. The checkout lady looked at the item and the price, at my slip, and just gave me the 10 cents back. I wasn't expecting an apology, this is Germany, after all. And, as it is Germany, I was willing to stand there and block her lane until I got my 10 cents back. So I imagine she ate the shortage as it was under her threshold and not worth the hassle to get a manager.

Again this week, something rang up wrong. I was sitting on the fence about buying coconut milk as it's much cheaper in the Asian supermarket. However, I had no plans to be in Leverkusen (my closest one), so I decided to suck it up and pay the 1,09 for 200 ml. Except when it rang up at 1,29. I had thought that perhaps I saw something incorrectly, so I went back to the aisle to check. Sure enough, it was 1,09. There are never employees or managers around Rewe, nor is there a customer service desk, only a raised platform with one way mirrors where I'm guessing they watch the customers and staff via hidden cameras. So I slid the little paper off of the shelf and brought it back with me to the same checkout line as previously.

H: This price, it is wrong. (holding the receipt and the tag).

Checkout lady: Did you take this sign from the shelf? (no mention of the price being wrong or any sort of apology.)

H: (knowing full well that she is trying to divert the focus from the 'wrongness' of the price to the 'wrongness' of me removing their little sign) Yes exactly, this is the price which was wrong on the shelf!

CL: (knowing that the ignorant foreigner is backing up her line and it's Friday night and the ignorant foreigner is not admitting wrongness). You're not supposed to take the sign from the shelf.

H: (louder and pointing) The price. It is wrong! I bought this. (fishing said coconut milk from bag.)

CL: (loud sign and eyes rolling, reaches into her cash drawer and slams 20 cents onto the change area, no apology, nothing. And she kept my receipt with the little sign.)

I can't really blame Germany for this cheapness, I arrived with that one. However, five years ago I would have been flummoxed in the same situation. Two years ago I still would have been polite. To Germany I owe thanks for making me a lot more pushy, agressive, and loud.

Good Lord am I going to need to unlearn some behaviors toot sweet in the UK.

P.S. Why did I even go to Rewe on a Friday evening? My favorite frozen pizza is on sale, save 50 cents each. Good deal. The sale ends on Saturday night and they tend to run out of the decent ones by Saturday afternoon. Or maybe they're trying to clear out the stock of the less favorite varietes, who knows.

Why didn't you leave earlier?

Since Frank asked in the comments...
Even when I know why and what your problems could have been in "good old germany", my question is: Why didn't you leave earlier? I hope that wasn't to much of German directness. Enjoy the UK

I love German directness, btw. The fact that you recognize that it could be seen as 'directness' confirms the fact that you are dating an American. I don't think that the average German would see it as 'directness' but more as 'a question'. ;-) However, the direct answer:

1. As an average American, it's difficult (but not impossible) to get permission to work in Europe.
One cannot up and decide 'I want to go work in Europe' the same way that a French person decides one morning to go work in Portugal. IF you do not have an EU spouse or another route like an EU parent, options are limited to get a foot in the door and to get over here. You take what you can get. Germany (in my personal experience in looking at various options as an IT person), is one of the easiest EU countries for an American to legally enter, without holding pre-existing local language skills. Others may have had other experiences.

2. Once you're here, in general you're still tied to your company/job.
Granted, there are various options in so many countries. However, my work permit configuration looked like this:
2003 - 1 year permit - tied to my job/company
2004 - 1 year permit - tied to my job/company
2005 - 1 year permit - tied to my job/company
2006 - 2 year permit - tied to my job/company
2008 - 2 year permit - not tied to my job/company, but limited to Germany
later in 2008 - at the 5 year point I traded up for an unbefristet permit, so a permit without an expiration, not tied to my job/company, but limited to Germany.

I was originally only supposed to be in Germany for 3 months before moving on to Spain and then France. Company J changed the rules though after year 1.

In the early years it would have been possible to change jobs, to another German company who would be willing to pick up the sponsorship of my work permit, but not easy. Or to change to another European country would have been almost the same as trying to come over from America, not easy.

During the 2000's, unemployment has remained high in Europe. I recognize that to have a job in Europe, as a non-EU person, was a blessing. From a language skills perspective, Spain would have been the only place where I'd have a bit of an advantage, but I'd suggest that it's one of the toughest to enter due to the restrictions they put on foreign workers in an effort to protect jobs in their high unemployment climate. Benevolent company J tried to get me over there for 3 months but got enmeshed in paperwork so it never happened.

In the later years by the I had the unlimited permit I had already come to the conclusion that I did not want to work for a different company in Germany, but rather, not in Germany so it was time to sit tight and re-evaulate options.

3. Financial reasons
A. I was paid as an expat for the first three years here. Financially it made sense for me.
B. I qualified for a financial benefit from my company, as long as a stayed with them until the five year point (March 2008). So really, years 1-3 made financial sense, and to add on another 2 years, well, why not at that point?

4. the unlimited work permit
Even if I never work in Germany ever again, I recognize the value of the EU work permits in my passport, and that I did get the unlimited permit from Germany (Sept 2008). Unfortunately it has a short shelf life. Once I de-register from Germany I have 6 months to come back in order to be able to come back under this permit, otherwise it's back to square one. However, since I was already staying another 1,5 years, what's another 6 months on that? (Plus I was waiting during those 6 months for the UK paperwork to process, so I had nothing better to do.)

Thus 5 years in Germany semi-explained. :-/

The most fascinating Germans

Maybe it's because I'm in a good mood because I'm leaving...or because the Germans I'd dealing with recognize that I'm leaving so they're not on my case to integrate...or because I'm meeting like-minded frugal people--however, in selling off the things from my flat, I am meeting the most fascinating set of Germans since I've been here.

Today, a woman came for the small Ikea bookshelf; it being for her small daughter (perhaps 2,5 years old) whom she brought along. She was asking me about my future plans and mentions that she, her husband and small daughter will be moving to Spain, hopefully this year. Her English was superb, with accent, but not a noticeably German one.

She explained that she had lived outside of Germany for over 8 years, most recently in Argentina, where she met said husband, an Argentinian. When the Argentinian economy collapsed, they decided to come to Europe, but of Germany, 'I do not like the lifestyle, especially now that I have gone and have come back.' (I didn't get to ask if she has family in the region, or if the job only brought them to this area.) And she uttered one of my favorite Germanized English phrases regarding life in Germany--'it is nothing for me'.

So their plans are to move to Spain as they speak Spanish at home and for a different lifestyle and better weather. So they are not investing too heavily in life here for the moment depending on how things turn out, only small things like my used bookshelf from kalaydo.

2nd verse, same as the first

Since returning from the US and then the UK, I've turned up the flat moving activities. Prior to the December holidays was taking care of things I don't use, so now I ran out of fat to cut and am cutting to the bone. Specifically, I'm down to 35 nights before I leave Germany for good, of which only 25 of them are in Germany. (I ended up with a work trip to Bulgaria, and as I have never visited before, I managed to extend a few days to include the weekend.)

Recent activities...I've spent every waking moment listing things on kayado to sell. Since returning in January exactly one week ago, I've sold:

-my Ikea wardrobe
-the bed
-my remaining Ikea lamps. (Fortunately I have overhead lights in the living room which stay with the flat.)
-an old suitcase
-every kitchen appliance excluding the coffee and juice machine. The juice machine is up for sale. The coffee machine will be one of the last things remaining. ;-)
-various sundry items which won't come along to the UK, to the tune of over 100 EUR.
-my remaining English books from bookswapper.de, so that I have a chance to use my remaining credits to zero out my balance.

I wasn't planning on selling the bed quite so soon, but the person who bought the wardrobe was very pleasant to deal with and extremely effiencient at taking apart and picking up the wardrobe and offered to take the bed. I can deal with a few extra nights on the floor in exchange for the ease of getting one more big thing out of the flat so easily. Plus, I kept the bedding, that will come to the UK.


I am rather surprised at how easy it has been thus far to sell things in Germany. Granted many of the things here were bought expressly because I knew I would leave at some point. So there was limited emotional attachment, especially as much was 'dent-and-scratch' floor models or sperrmuell.

Next up: hitting it hard for the next two weeks, clearing out as much as possible and trying to figure out the logistics of how the car should best be loaded. I've eaten every vegetable in the house so I've had to go to the store to replenish veg and tofu, but otherwise I'm eating down the remaining food in the flat, nothing new so that I have as little as possible left when it's time to leave for the UK.

January is...

the driest month. A habit I picked up from an Irish colleague since living here was to give up alchohol in the month of January. And let's face it, the Irish know a bit about this topic. In particular, I think that January in my corner of NRW can sorta cause one to get into a slump. From the excitement of going back to the US as well as the Christmas markets in December until Karneval in February, January tends to be a little boring.

Before you ask the regular questions:
Are you a purist, stopping at exactly 23.59 on Dec 31st?
-No. I'm not so into this to that level. If the night of Dec 31st doesn't end until 02.00 on January 1st, so be it.

Do you make up for it by having a good drink up at the first possible moment in February?
-Actually, the opposite. I ease back into drinking in February gradually.

Isn't that a difficult month to choose, January can be so dark and dreary?
I think it's probably the easiest actually. I'd miss it more in the summer when there are nice beer gardens or wine in the summer beside the Rhein.

In the meantime, Father Ted on this topic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxbyO4FQ_Fk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoYVVnBDNxg

Why do you not want to stand next to me?

Probably because you would get singed as I get struck by lightning for lying.

I find myself making a lot of little, white harmless fibs in Germany, mainly because that tends to simplify conversation making. For example:

-There was a restaurant I used to go to every other month or so in my early days here, which I liked very much. But then I moved to Cologne and the restaurant was not so convenient, but I still went occasionally as the service was very good. Then I went again, with my French colleague, and they pleasantly remarked on my appearance and how I had been away a while.

On the spot with my poor German of the time to try to explain that I had moved to Cologne and and I liked their food very much, but they were not so convenient for my commute home, and not wanting to hurt their feelings because I know I wouldn't be able to explain it properly, instead, I went with the easy fib:

Oh, I was home in America for some months for work.

After the server walked away, I looked to my French work colleague (who knows very well I was not in America for some months). I started to say, "My German is not good enough to try to explain", but she cut me off. "Trust me, I do the same thing in English, sometimes it's easier".

-Last night, my very nice downstairs neighbor caught me in the hallway. Frau Liebe Nachbarin, does your car not start in the very cold weather? because they saw that my car stayed covered in snow in its parking spot on the Monday and Tuesday workdays rather than driving off to benevolent company J at 08.30.

Rather than trying to answer, "well, my neck was very sore when I arrived back from the UK on Sunday night from running around too much in the cold weather and uncomfortable beds and leaning on the plane and then train windows to snooze, and well I didn't feel up to shoveling out my car then on Monday in the cold due to said neck stiffness and the crappy looking roads anyway so I took the lazy way out and just took the bus instead, and well Tuesday I worked from home so that I could stay wrapped in a blanket with heat on the neck", instead my simplified German answer was:

I have fear to drive in the snow, so I instead take the bus this week.

Because I didn't want to get into a drawn out conversation about cold moving air on the neck in the UK made it stiff, or that new-fangled concept of working from home. I thought this tiny lie would sort this conversation out in the fastest manner.

Imagine my abject surprise then, upon scurrying out on the way to the bus stop, to see that the pleasant Germans in my building had shoveled out behind my car in the lot. Due to the structure of the parking lot, it was clearly done for me, it's for no one else's benefit. I imagine they were trying to be ever so helpful in giving me confidence in taking out Mr. Polo to brave the winter wonderland.

Boy do I feel guilty.

Behold, the purse

Since Natalie asked:

It's tough to see in the photo but it's dark brown leather and seems to be a Rossetti knock off. I put my mittens in the photo to give you an idea of its small size. The mittens are from my trip to Estonia a while back and perfect for the recent below freezing temps in DE.

Somebody needs to go on a diet

In case you cannot read the little numbers, it says 13.5 pounds. Before you start suggesting that she's big-boned, keep in mind:

-2 different vets at 2 different points in one year have said she needs to lose 3 lbs

-her pregnancy weight from 18 months ago (with 5 kittens) was 12 lbs.

-as there is a price per pound to fly her to the UK, now is a great time to lose the excess.