Dear downstairs neighbor

Please come home! I know things are going well with the boyfriend as it seems you're spending every weekend with him and you only come back on Sundays around 4. And he's pleasant enough, always saying hello when we pass in the building...

But you know this year winter is actually behaving like winter. It snowed overnight here again, just an inch or so. Then it changed to sleet, and the snow where it's piled up isn't really melting. And I decided this year not to turn on the heating...

To explain, last year I didn't turn it on at all. Granted, last year's winter was incredibly mild, and the year before I only turned it on twice. Heat in Germany is very expensive, it seems to me, compared to other places where I've lived. I saw the bills, and could easily pick out the one month where I turend it on twice.

And it's not that I'm so cheap, ahem, frugal. It just doesn't make so much sense to turn it on, because I have an advantage in that I'm in the middle of the apartment building. You're beneath me, the nice couple with the child are above me, and I'm sanwiched on the side by nice Marion, leaving really only one side and a half exposed to the great outdoors. The double-glazed windows let in nothing, so it's really quite cozy 95% of the time, naturally.

Further, it's hot water heat, through the floor. The other reason for not turning it on is that there is no 'little bit' with it. It takes about an hour to get the hot water into the pipes, then it's like the inside of an oven and you could walk about in shorts and a t-shirt, and it stays warm for hours, and quite frankly, too warm for me.

Sure, I have my little tricks to warm it up a tiny bit on days like today. I choose to wash my sheets and towels and to use my dryer (located in the bathroom). Or I make lunch with something involving oven use, today I roasted a butternut squash with garlic. Or in the evening I light a few tea light candles. Or sometimes a wine or a coffee will warm things up. I've already broken out the big guns (my eastern European wool socks), and nothing is working here.

I can feel the chill from the floor, so I know you've been away since Friday. Yeah, ok, maybe this is karmic payback for the cucumber incident, but you really handled that one gracefully, in particular as this is Germany it could have blown up with letters and posters on the door about 'intrusive gardens' but you just laughed it off. But really, couldn't you and the boyfriend stay here occasionally on a weekend?

Regards,
Your upstairs neighbor