Business travel in Europe, in the tiny town of B

I get the feeling sometimes, that when I mention being on work travel to Germany or Paris, that people back home in the US have a vision of a fancy 5 star hotel, with pool and doorman and elegant spoken English by the friendly desk clerk. Really, however, it's a totally different experience as many of company J's preferred hotels are located near the offices that tend to be tucked away in Industrial Parks....so maybe to compare it to say, Newark, New Jersey would be a closer comparison.

I was reminded of that this week, when my German work colleague was in contact. The hotels around benevolent company J's headquarters in Germany are so small that they cannot be booked using our online travel application; but as it's hit or miss whether you'll get anyone who speaks English, most of them do not. So when our work colleagues travel, they will find a German speaker to arrange their reservation. (That being said, the staff at these small hotels are extremely forgiving with 'less than adequate German', so as long as you can muddle along with the basics and have no special requests, you're usually ok.)

My German colleague (who is married to a non-German and lives here in the UK) was tasked with making the hotel reservations for a boss a few levels up, a sophisticated yet pleasant enough fellow, one of those persons who is probably used to five star travel. Here was our conversation:

Colleague A: Hey H, 'Normal Hotel' (the favourite of company J visitors, it is close to the office, very modern inside and has menus in multiple languages) is booked up, do you know hotels X or Y?

Heather: Yes, both. X is the tiny one near Normal Hotel, Y is the one near the Pizza place, where the owner wears a dirndl*.

A: Aaah right, so then X probably make sense.

H: You might want to pre-warn him--X looks like your grandma's living room...old lady lace decor, and oodles of glass dolls and clowns all around the place.

A: Oh man.

H: It's a little freaky when you come back of an evening out and you are reaching around for the light, and when you turn it on there are 20 pairs of glassy eyes staring at you...but the main deal breaker for me is that they only have dial-up network access, no wifi.

A: Maybe Y is better....

H: Yes, dirndl lady is pleasant, but if he arrives on Monday they do not open until 18.00. And again, no wifi there either.

A: Mann, mann, mann. Maybe I should tell him they were both booked up and just put him in the Hilton in Cologne instead...

*Dirndl Lady is a real anomoly for the area of DE between Cologne and D'dorf...normally we only see Dirndls for Karneval or maybe the town's anniversary, but never for 'daily wear'.