One if by land, two if by sea

On Thursday night I arrived at the Hook of Holland ferry terminal just before 20.00 for the 22.00 ferry. I had never driven this route before, so I left plenty of time to allow for traffic and getting lost. From the Cologne area, it's actually quite easy, mappy sends you up the A3, then over to Venlo, and onward to Tilburg/Breda, then to the Rotterdam Ring road. The tiny town of B is slightly north of Cologne, and door to door my trip time was 3 hrs 15 minutes. I was taking it easy as Mr. Polo was fully loaded and not going much above the speed limit. I imagine you could do it faster if you tried.

Upon arriving, the terminal seemed very empty. Check-in is from 18.45-21.15. When bringing along a car, assuming you already have your ticket purchased and printed out, you drive immediately up to the check-in booth. There were no cars in front of me, and two lanes to choose from which shared a middle booth. (So if you were driving a UK car you could choose the lane which put the booth window on the right, while in my German car I choose the opposite.)

Upon driving up, I saw the clerk look at something and then greet me in Dutch, so I think there was a little camera showing the number plate. I responded with a general 'Hallo'. She continued in Dutch and asked me for my passport. Once I handed it to her she switched to English and was very friendly.

So I'm driving a car with a German license plate which is packed to the gills.
My passport is American.
I purchased my ticket on the Irish version of the Stena ship site (as opposed to the UK version) because I wanted to pay in Euros to avoid a conversion fee.

After she gave me a room key and a little map 'and remember, once you pass my gate, you are on UK time!' and the next step was to proceed up to the next booth, passport controls.

At passport controls, there was a man in a safety vest standing in the middle of the lane. Why they do not invest in more durable gate controls rather than humans, I am curious. He also started with Dutch and then switched to English upon receiving my passport.
Passport guy: Are you travelling alone tonight?
Heather: (slightly confused look, as Mr Polo was visibly packed up, including my tent and backpack on the front seat). Yes.
PG: (now noticing the full car). Moving?
Heather: yes, moving flat to the UK, from Germany.
PG: I need to take this inside to stamp it, just a moment.
Heather: Sure, no problem.

I can see him in my mirror, he's showing my passport to the other guy operating the other window. After about 5 minutes, he comes back out.

PG: I've never seen this before. (waving my passport)
Heather: You've never seen an American passport before??? (realizing how incredulous I sounded after it came out of my mouth. I realize this isn't a common travel route for tourists, but really, now.)
PG: No, these pages with letters. I've only seen numbers before.
Heather: (relieved) Oh! That's the extra pages, when you get them added later.
PG: Hmm. When did you enter the Schengen area?
Heather: Umm. Christmas time? I arrived in Holland tonight from Germany. I am a permanent resident in Germany; I live and work in Germany.
PG: So then you're moving to the UK then you come back to Germany to return the rental car?
Heather: I return from the UK by ferry on Monday, then I return to Germany. But it's my company car, not a rental.
PG: I need to ask my chief about these letters. Can you drive over here, I show you where.
Heather: (drives into the detention zone and opens a pack of crackers.)

Blue Immigration Police car zips up near me. I draft an SMS to my Dutch colleagues to come rescue me from the Dutch slammer at Hook, with it one button away from sending in case I need to send it in a hurry.

Blue Police Man: (appearing at my window after another 5 minutes) Hello!
Heather: (black coat now covered in Saltine crumbs.) Hi.
BPM: (smiling) Going to the UK tonight, you will need this. (handing me my passport)
Heather: Did you give it a nice stamp?
BPM: Yes of course! Sorry about that, my guy, he had never seen the letter pages before.
Heather: No problem. Better safe than sorry. (Wondering if that phrase is fully understood by Dutch speakers, or too colloquial. Also wondering if they have an information source where they look up standards like the letter pages or do they have a special hotline to a US government person who would answer such questions on the fly? Or would the chief be expected to know all such variations?)
BPM: (thumbs up and smiley): Have a safe trip!
Heather: (Dumbfounded, zipping away toward the boat, slowly realizing, this was the anti-German passport experience--someone just apologized to me rather than blaming me for their lack of knowledge and was friendly.)

Memo to self: If the UK doesn't work out, perhaps I need to think about working in the Netherlands...